Family – Love them or leave leave?

men riding silhouette people on street against sky during sunset
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Family.  We cannot live with them and we cannot live without them.  My family is actually so unique and I realise that the Lord must have really loved me to have given me two families who love and accept me.  You may ask, two families?  Let me explain.  I got saved a month after my 18th birthday.  I was still living in my parents’ home, and even though they were serving the Lord as well, they could not understand the radical change that came over me after accepting Jesus as personal Saviour.  You see, prior to that decision, I was a very quiet, scared, introverted girl, who preferred her own company above that of others.  If you looked at me skew, I would burst out crying, and I generally only answered questions that were directed to me by name.  I would not give my opinion about anything, and because I stuttered, I steered clear of crowds and anyone I did not know.  I was a loner, and did not have many friends.  Weekends I would be at home with my parents, listening to my music.  Compared to this, 6 months after accepting Jesus, I was going to youth, and enjoying it.  I was part of the worship team at our church, and I thrived on being at every meeting.  Needless to say, this confused my parents.  They could not understand how I could have changed so drastically overnight.  What they did not realize was, Jesus had brought about such a change in my life that even the stuttering disappeared.  I had a new confidence that made me want to be around others, and it was all because of Jesus. After many years of having to rely on the goodness of family and friends just to have a roof over my head, the Lord guided my footsteps to a new church and a new family.  Initially, I accepted employment as the Senior Pastor’s Personal Assistant, but within 6 months I was accepted into the family, with an open invitation to move in with the family.  Once I accepted this offer, my “new father and mother” announced that the only acceptable for me to leave their home would be when I got married.  It has been over 20 years, I have never married and they still accept me as a member of the family.  When the family moved to a new house, provision was made for me to have my own little place on the same property.  What can I say, God has been super generous to me over the years.  During that time, God has reconciled me to my blood family and I now have the pleasure of having two families.  I must admit, it can be quite a challenge trying to appease both sides.  Choosing which family events to attend, especially when they are on the same day, but so far God has truly guided me with the regards to making sure everyone is happy.  One thing I have learnt through all this is, although family can be the cause of much heartache and pain, nothing compares to having a tribe you belong to.  Having to leave my parents home all those years ago left scars of not really fitting in, and together with that came the fear of growing old alone.  Fortunately I am still on the path of all these scars being healed permanently.  Hallelujah, but it has not been an easy journey.  So, if you still have your family, look past all the drama and treasure the fact that you belong somewhere.

Blessings

Eloise

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What To Write

Since I started my blog about 3 months ago, my greatest concern has been, “What will I write about?”  Although I am always scribbling something or other, most of it is not something I would want the whole world to read (us creative ones are very sensitive about our writing).  About 3 years ago I finished a children’s book I was writing.  I was very impressed with myself, but I did not ever consider letting others read the 119 A5 paged book.  In fact, the thought of anyone reading the book scared the wits out of me.  I did not think it was any good enough, despite me feeling proud of my work.  About a year ago I started considering publishing the book, so I sent a copy to a dear friend of mine.  My instructions to her were very clear, “Tell me what you think, and hold nothing back”.  Her comments blew me away.  She loved the book, and thought the storyline was “brilliant” (her exact words).  So I went on the net, looking for publishing house who I thought would be interested in publishing.  A month after sending a draft to perspective houses, I got a reply from one in the UK who was ready to publish a portion of the book in their catalogues.  I was over the moon, and thus began a more serious search for a publisher.  The search is still on, but I have decided to post a small portion in my blog.  s here goes everything.

“Seedy And Friends – Lessons From The Journey Called Life

Seedy was happy and content.  He was together with all his friends and family in a nice spacious place away from overcrowded seedpod they use to live in.  The seedpod was so claustrophobic.  There was no privacy, and all they ever did was sleep, and the only company he had was his 5 brothers who worked on his last nerve.  When they were small it was fine, but as his brothers grew bigger, space was limited and he hated being so close to everyone.  At least now, he had enough space to wonder off on his own whenever he felt like it.  And if he did not want to be around his embarrassing brothers, there were at least 20 other friends whose company kept him entertained.  Life was great.  There nothing else he wished for.  Besides the comfort he enjoyed, he also looked forward every day to the shop owner cleaning their home and the shelf they lived.  He seemed to be a really nice guy and took such pride in making all of them look their best for the customers who came to visit every day.  Seedy loved the attention the customers gave them.  There were even times when it felt like the customers looked directly at him and admired how small he was.  The picture on their packet give customers an idea of the potential he had, and Seedy spent hours every day dreaming about what he would look like when he was big.  Seedy imagined becoming a big white lilly that looked more beautiful that all his brothers, and he could not wait for the day when everyone would look up to him and wish to be just like him.  He had big dreams of becoming everyone’s hero, just like his grandfather and great – grand father had been.  He remembered how his father had told them stories about the competitions and prizes his family had won over the years.  Still today, many of his friends speak highly of his family because of what his ancestors had achieved.  His grandmother had won the best – dressed trophy for a full season.  Grandfather stood tall right alongside her when he won best bloomer, just as his father had.  So, he came from a good heritage.  Many of their friends said it was in their genes to excel and bloom.  And apparently it ran in both sides of the family.  Mother was more modest about their achievements, and she very seldom spoke about her family’s achievements.  Whenever her asked her why n=she never spoke about it, she would tell him that outward achievements are not always the most important thing.  She would tell him to pay more attention to building good character, because achievements only lasted for a short while.  She said you needed good character to be able to put your achievements into right perspective.  He was not sure what that meant, but he knew she was right.  Mother was always right, but he still dreamt his dreams.  The way he saw it, he could have both the achievements and the character.  And he knew just what to do.  Mother always said that he had his father’s charm and that just like dad, he could achieve anything he set his heart on.  Character, she said, was another story.  Character had to be groomed and developed, by using what life throws at you.  Whenever she said this, Seedy was left confused.  He did not understand what she meant.  She also said that good character was developed by allowing life to mould and bring out what was deep inside of you.  Seedy had no idea how to allow life to do that to him, and as much as he wanted it, it frightened him to think about it.  So he decided to not think about that too much.  The only down – side to his family is the fact that no one ever talks about where his grandmother and grandfather were.  It is as if everyone only remembers the day they won all those competitions.  He imagined that she must be living in some classy house, and he hoped that they would one day go visit her.  His mother had said that they would see her soon, but that was when he was little and he still had not seen nor met her.  But he was hopeful, and excited about his life as he knew it now.  As far as he was concerned he had everything he ever wanted and could not wait to grow up and win a few trophies of his own.  He could hear the crowd calling his name, while admiring his pure white petals.  “If only ….” he thought.”

I trust you will enjoy this little teaser.

Lots of love

Eloise

Waiting for my Boaz

Where is my Boaz?

On the 14th of February many couples celebrated Valentine’s Day.  I read a post on facebook posted by a single lady friend of mine.  The post said, “Another year where I’ll be getting no Valentine gift….. waar is my Boaz?”  I could so identify with my friend because not too long ago, this was the cry of my heart.  I have always believed what must come to you, will come to you.  So waiting to get married, was not a problem for me until I realized that I was getting older, and my “clock” was ticking so fast, I could almost hear the hands of time constantly mocking me, as there was no “Knight In Shining Armour” in my view.  In my early twenties, marriage seemed so far away, and I was not even worried about the fact that by the age of 22/23, I had not even gone on a date or had a boyfriend.  However, when I reached 26, I had some well meaning friends and family who would jokingly make comments like “You better find yourself a boyfriend”, or “You better be careful that you do not end up on the shelf”, or even better, ”You are going to be an old maid, if you don’t find yourself a man”.

This was not a joke to me because I had planned to be married by 26, and constantly hearing these comments definitely did not help my confidence.  When I reached my 30’s I was convinced that I would never get married.  You see, I had bought into the lie that I was too old and undeserving to be loved.  And what a lie it was.  I so wanted to get married, and I started to believe that God was playing a terrible trick on me.  It was bad enough to not have any prospects to hope for, but since I was the secretary of our ministry, I was expected to play wedding planner for every young lady who was engaged and planning her wedding.  While I enjoyed being able to exercise my creative muscles, at the end of the day I was faced with the “truth” that God had forgotten about me, and that I would never get married.  I remember how I used to cry out to the Lord, wanting to know what great sin I had committed, that He chose to punish me in this way.  Then one day, the Lord ministered to my heart concerning waiting on Him through Joe Pace song called While You Wait.  Since I am a singer, God often speaks to me through songs, and this song spoke volumes to my disappointed, broken heart.  As I listened to the words of the song, iIt suddenly dawn on me I realized there was purpose to my waiting.  God had not forgotten about me.  In fact, I realized He was preserving me for something better.  Oh how joy filled my heart.  The Bible is filled with scriptures about waiting, and the blessings relating to waiting.  That led me to do a little study of my own.

The word “wait” means to hope, to anticipate and to trust.  For me this meant that God obviously had a plan for my life, and that was why He had not allowed me to get married yet.  This also meant that I could still get married, so all was not loss.  There was still hope.  I am sure there are many young ladies who have experienced the same anguish I did regarding getting married.  Society places so much pressure on young ladies to get married in their 20s.  Maybe you can identify with me on this matter.  I am still not married, and I still hear the occasional snide remark about my singleness, but despite that I would advise every young lady to not be in such a hurry to get hitched.  There are so many blessings to be found in waiting.  One big one is, in our 20s, we are all still trying to find out who we are and what we want in life.  Some of us are late bloomers, so this searching may only end in our late thirties.  Besides that, most of us have so much baggage that we have carried throughout our childhood.  Maybe your parents divorced, or you were teased at school.  Maybe you never excelled at school, or you experienced some trauma as a child.  Whatever it may be, the point I am trying to make is that we do have baggage – some unresolved issues that we carry with us throughout life.  Now you meet a young man, and he has his own unresolved issues.  You enter into marriage, which in itself is hard work, and suddenly all the insecurities rise to the surface, and we wonder why there are so many marriages that end up in divorce.  I believe it is best to wait, and allow God to bring the necessary healing, so that when you do enter into marriage, it is with a clean slate.  Whatever you bring into your marriage at the onset, become the foundation on which you will build.  So my question is, what foundation are you building on?  If your foundation is shaky, your building (marriage) will be shaky.

Psalm 130:5

I wait for the LORD, my soul does wait, And in His word do I hope.

While you wait,
You might have to stand in the rain.
While you wait,
There may be some heartache and pain.
While you’re waiting for your promises
To be fulfilled in your life,
Remember God is not late,
So just praise Him while you wait, wait.

While you wait,
Your friends may not stay by your side.
While you wait,
Your eyes may ache from the tears you’ve cried

While you’re waiting for your promises
To be fulfilled in your life,
Remember God is not late,
So just praise Him while you wait, wait.

Up Through The Stubborn Sod

I am sure, when reading the title of my blog, many would comment that it is a strange title.  The truth is, the title is a line in an old hymn written by John W Peterson many years ago.  So why did I select it as my title?  Well, a few years ago, I received a prophetic word about writing a book with this title.  I believe the Lord has commissioned me to write this book, and over the years I have written many drafts, but just when I really got into the swing of writing, something I would lose the document.  After writing the first draft, my computer crashed.  Then the flash stick I saved the second draft on disappeared.  I purchased another flash stick, and after saving the third draft, I could not access the file.  And so on, and so on.  I finally decided to start this blog and post my writings on line, where it hopefully would not disappear, and once I have enough material, I would compile my book.

Since you have decided to read my first post,  I pray that you will be blessed in doing so, but more important, that you will continue reading all my writings and scribbles, and invite your friends and family to do the same.  I look forward to meeting with you in this manner on a monthly basis, and I hope you would leave comments.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Eloise

http://music4christ.cjb.net/

 Believe In Miracles

Carlton C. Buck John W. Peterson

Verse
Creation shows the power of God,
There’s glory all around,
And those who see must stand in awe,
For miracles abound.

Chorus
I believe in miracles, I’ve seen a soul set free,
Miraculous the change in one Redeemed through Calvary;
I’ve seen the lily push its way up through the stubborn sod;
I believe in miracles, for I believe in God!

I cannot doubt the work of God,
There’s glory all around,
And those who see must stand in awe,
For miracles abound.

The love of God! O pow’r divine!
‘Tis wonderful to see
The miracles that He has wrought
Should lead to Calvary.